How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops