Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down -135

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops