A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Hello penis

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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