what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

What's white and sticky? Glue.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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