What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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Jews.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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