Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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Hi

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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