Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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The 80's

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

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Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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