Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma is SO black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

lol

thumb_up thumb_down -111

what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -155

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +12

the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops