How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

Your mom walks into a bar.

if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

9/11

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

what did the black guy say to the other black guy? good morning

How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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