A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Flop dog

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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