What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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you ever put a vibrating phone on your b a l l s ???

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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