If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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