LIE

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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God

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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