Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

thumb_up thumb_down +101

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down -119

whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

A Weight loss service that works

thumb_up thumb_down -98

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what is worse than the holocaust harry' ear acne

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops