what do you call a retarded italian Niko

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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What's black and white and red all over A nun falling down the stairs

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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7>6

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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Anything Dane Cook says

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two jews walk into a bar and were served properly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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