why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

thumb_up thumb_down +86

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

two jews walk into a bar and were served properly

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down +8

q: whys this website gay a: kids like jaali,pawgee, and mutt

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Wanna here a funny joke? Doug.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -79

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

thumb_up thumb_down -111

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops