What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

6

What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

who has no willy? robbie kearns

Whats stupid and has words? THIS JOKE!

Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

What is black and white and red all over. A blackboard.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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