whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

I am Skaldak!

biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Strawberry, to be specific.

ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

Darude - Sandstorm

a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

y momma so fat that she's heavy

The Holocaust.

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Crunchie

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

what makes margaritas good. illegal immagrants in the basement.

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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