What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

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Hitler had the right ideas, wne tupon it the wrong way.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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How many people does it take to eat an apple ? One, unless it is divided into pieces for everyone to enjoy.

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what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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German sausage is the wurst

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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wow garlic, yum

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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8============D PEN1S

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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