Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

Why did the Mexican cross the street? He didn't

Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

Womens rights.

How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...