A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

Why did the boy fall out of his tree house? the tree house was hit by lightning

How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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