How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

wat?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

JFK

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops