Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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hi

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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