Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

Im ashamed of being from Canada

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...