An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Hello penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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