Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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