BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +32

national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops