What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

banana

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

It’s dead.

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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