How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

Racial Equality.

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

What's the square root of four? Two.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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