How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down +59

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops