porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Men's Rights

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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