I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

You

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

Miley Cyrus.

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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