Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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sexual intercourse.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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You

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops