What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

thumb_up thumb_down -45

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops