Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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