whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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68

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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George Bush.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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