Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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if you read this you are gay

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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