If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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The Olympics

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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