What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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Miley Cyrus.

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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How are you this morning?

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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