What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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