Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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boobs

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Are you a tree? No.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops