How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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How are you this morning?

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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