Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

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Men's Rights

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How are you this morning?

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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A man buys free health care...

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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