How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

thumb_up thumb_down +190

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

thumb_up thumb_down +115

How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

PENIS THAT IS ALL!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops