Are you a tree? No.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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PATHETIC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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