Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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