Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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PATHETIC

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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