Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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PATHETIC

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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