What's worse than death? Nothing.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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