knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

Who has the biggest cock A rooster

Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

^that joke's not funny

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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