How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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Get in the car.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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