A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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