Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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