Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

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A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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