What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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Blake wilkeys hair style

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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cancer

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religion.

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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