How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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Knock Knock Not Yet

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the asian kid gets an F

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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