Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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