A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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wommmoaooammaaa

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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