why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

Two english guys meet at work

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

Blake wilkeys hair style

What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...