If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

fack me in the ace! CC

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down +20

pickle sniffer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

wommmoaooammaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What you reading? reading?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops