How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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I'll be back. Please use the door.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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